Mani-Pedi's

A CULTURAL COMMENTARY: Gentlemen – we have been hoodwinked! Our lives have been spent in a darkness imposed by our conniving women. This scheme has had a seemingly benign face; it's an activity we wouldn't have thought twice about. It's just what our women do, often together, and there has been nothing to even HINT that we men were being excluded - it's something in which we would never even DREAM of partaking, largely because it has never been something we've been invited to share. Well...I am here to expose the truth about that female fraternal activity which has been hidden from our view forever: THE MANI-PEDI! That's right...that specific indulgence which has remained a refuge for our womenfolk has FINALLY COME TO LIGHT, and we must rise to the occasion. We must demand our due! We must break through the barriers that have shielded us, ne BLOCKED us, from one of the last remaining personal pleasantries to which we have had no welcomed access. I am here to tell you, with every ounce of my manliness intact, that WE MUST BEGIN THE PROCESS OF DESEGREGATING THE NAIL SALON; of making it an equal-access self-pleasuring venue! How do I know this? Because my lovely bride apparently lost her mind (may even have her Woman Card revoked for it) by inviting me to join her in a quiet and otherwise empty salon (clearly, she didn't think I would ever spill the beans; ever be a whistleblower). And so yesterday, I had my lower legs scrubbed with a wonderfully gristly and soothing soap; my feet soaked in warm sudsy water, the bottoms of my feet scraped free of gnarly dry dead skin, my toes and fingers clipped and sanded and caressed; my back totally smooshed to jello by a WICKED excellent automated chair massage. MANI-PEDI...WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!? And so I encourage all of you men out there to revolt; to scream and wimper and yell and cry and huff and puff...until a woman in your life treats you to a mani-pedi. Scoff if you will, oh you silly macho maniacs, but I'm telling you this: life is short; do NOT be kept in the dark any longer! DEMAND YOUR RIGHTFULLY DUE MANI-PEDI!!! (And the FIRST one should be on her!)